SPOTLIGHT ON AUTHORS #2

Goodbye Again by Candace Cahill

Here’s another debut author I’d like to profile: Candace Cahill.

For the last several years, Candace and I have belonged to the same online writing group. We read and critiqued each other’s manuscripts and I always admired her skill as a writer, so I celebrated when her book became available, eager to get my copy of Goodbye Again.

What I love most about this book is its befitting title. Candace explores the emotional trauma of losing a child she had given up for adoption, reuniting with him years later, then losing him when he dies in his sleep before they had a chance to meet again.

The story opens with Candace facing a decision about her unplanned pregnancy. She agrees to give her son up in an open adoption, one where she can choose the adoptive parents. After relinquishing her son, she struggles with her choice. Readers are provided with an unflinching analysis of her experience of adoption and reluctance to share her grief. We are taken on a journey through personal growth, resilience, and love. The author brings together elements of a well-constructed novel— compelling and poignant—as Candace gives us a dive into the process of healing.

This memoir is filled with many poignant scenes, but the scene that made me sob uncontrollably was when Candace stands beside her son’s coffin and says, “I’m sorry I didn’t try harder… I’m sorry we didn’t have more time…I’m sorry I couldn’t be your mom,”.

The author deftly describes her cast of characters. My favorite was Candace’s tenderhearted, steadfast partner, Tom. She also examines her relationship with her mother—who withheld verbal expressions of love and turned a blind eye to the abuse her daughter suffered. Candace’s descriptions are every bit as complicated as her feelings of betrayal when she discovers what happened to her son’s adoptive mother. The most powerful line in the book was when the author states, “And suddenly I knew that Jane and I were the same.”

#memoir #adoption #grief